“Transformers 5: the Last knight”: Hysterical 23.06.2017

Baydefinitely tired. “Age of extinction” it was boring before that it was passed to a movie, and it was hard not to fall asleep. But “Last knight” the fatigue went hysterical. The film also lasts a long time, but now Bay do not work out the fee for the machine, and pofigistichno stebetsya and brazenly — as if this time he really leaves the franchise forever.

However, first it is not obvious. “Knight” begins with a prologue about king Arthur need Merlin in the battle. Meanwhile, the scary drunk Merlin, drinking whiskey from the throat, comes somewhere in the mountains, to an alien spaceship from transformers, and begs for their help, saying that Yes, he’s a drunk and a charlatan, but Hey, guys, look, we’ve got Apocalypse, help us. The role of Merlin — Stanley Tucci, who then scared, really scared APE, and is that not showing your ass in a frame that seems, on the contrary, BAE has developed dementia. Especially because then the movie manages word for word to repeat the joke about “rocking” in unrelated episodes. It’s like a catastrophe, because I want to leave the room after five minutes of the film.

But as it turns out, Bay’s all right. He is perfectly aware of how stupid piece of cinema (and this time it seems to be the most stupid), and moves quickly from banter and trolling between the lines that he was always and everywhere, to outright seopardie. “Last knight” from beginning to end for myself “honest” trailer. To play it is simply impossible, because the Director and so perfectly done. Watch it not as ironic treshak type of “crank 2” or “Crazy ride” is difficult and, moreover, it is impossible. Even when the pathos screwed to the max is nothing more than a crazy expensive circus, entertaining and stupid. It is obvious that many behind the scenes understand this, and therefore you need to understand yourself. In the end, the Bay twice already says about it himself, when it allows Hopkins to interrupt the soundtrack and speak in the spirit of “What the fuck plays this kind of music?”.

Dialogues like short skits from SNL, jokes from Twitter and rarely go down to something household. Partly, of course, because conversations are basically small — most only some replicas of different scenes, which the movie shoots like a machine gun. Bay took into account the criticism of the previous film, and decided to mount a “Knight” much more alive. So about “honest” trailer, again, no joke — this movie is entirely mounted as a trailer. He is only two and a half hours.

Cut every two or three seconds, and almost every time the camera changed, and with it the aspect ratio. Bey was so lazy that he scored on cropping, and no matter where you look — everywhere is this constant changing of the aspect ratios even within one quiet dialogue in the garage. So you can’t shoot a pure dialogue scene without action on one type of camera? Be sure to remove at the IMAX three seconds profile Wahlberg? Yes, we need, says Bay. And probably laughing. But the most interesting thing in half an hour… don’t care. The same crazy that you almost cease to notice this mess. He even to the place — to the extent this movie is weird in the region.

Ten banknotes can fly ten different locations and ten characters, each of which tells something different, separate. That is, human communication in this film is almost there — it’s either a joke “Oh my God, it got in your pants, let’s see what’s there!” either explain what’s going on in the frame, why in the frame themselves, and what will happen next.

Although no matter how much I try to explain what’s going on, this is sometimes impossible. For example, in the final battle 14-year-old girl (by the way, the story is not needed, but okay) secretly gets on a plane to Wahlberg, who flies to save the Earth. What then freaking Wahlberg asks “why are You here?” and the girl honestly says “I don’t know!”. And no one knows! You just have to be there.

This movie did not see the coast. Anthony Hopkins why it says the words “cool” and “dude” and whenever possible, laughing maniacally. Half of the replicas Wahlberg comes down to the phrase “Yes, you’re all crazy!”. Optimus Prime usually pushes a motivating speech about the humanity house and the “Autobots unite”, but never it yet was not so funny. There’s even a mocking “cameo” of LaBeouf.

Now, Bay can get away in the sunset, which he loves to shoot. “The last knight” was the best thing he could do with the series in modern times. In some sense — directly Arthouse.

“Transformers 5: the Last knight”: Hysterical 23.06.2017

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